Posted by cajun in Why do I always find myself in the most fucked up situations? For those of you that read my good buddy Tenmagnet’s blog (www.tenmagnet.com) you may have already read his account about what happened a week ago to me in Sydney, but for those of you that didn’t, let me explain the whole thing.
I’m too confident, most of the time that’s a good thing, but it also gets me in trouble…often. I will never back down from a fight, I will drink anybody under the table, I feel I can outwit anybody and charm my way through anything. This obviously has tremendous repercussions for someone who works in bars all over the world for a living. I’ve been in some very scary situations, believe me, but most of the time I can talk my way out of any serious problems, however, this past weekend in Sydney was not one of those times.
It was the end of the Saturday night portion of our seminar in Sydney. It’s about 2:30am and I just climb out of a car near the club that we took our students. I had been making out with a flight attendant from Perth that was wearing the same captain’s hat as me, so we had an instant connection and went back to her car after a short flirty conversation. She goes back inside to her friends and I realize I have no money for a cab home. I go to a couple ATMs in stores around the area but it seems like my card is frozen; this happens sometimes when I’m in foreign countries and forget to tell my bank that I’m travelling. I realize that I’ll have to walk home seeing as how I don’t have a phone to call my bank and the pay phones don’t seem to work. I don’t mind too much since our hotel isn’t far and I know the way, so I start walking.
I end up walking through Darling harbour to get back to the hotel since its a really beautiful walk at night the way the lights flicker off the water and seeing the Sydney skyline in the reflections. I get through the harbour and find my way to the aquatic centre near my hotel. As I’m walking up the stairs to cut through the aquatic centre I notice a thin oriental guy. He sees me, then runs up the stairs ahead of me very quickly. I remember thinking it was somewhat suspicious but assume he was simply in a hurry.
As I get up the stairs there’s a narrow path that leads through to the main road which is under construction and has some scaffolding pipes and wooden pallets laying around. Halfway through the alley a group of three guys come around the corner and walk towards me with purpose. I sense something, so I move to the side to let them pass by me, but they also move to the side to block me. I stop and realize that something is about to happen, the Oriental seems to have been a lookout. The biggest one comes forward, he’s jacked up and has those thick neck muscles that only bodybuilders seem to get, he also has a look of pure hatred on his face. The other two are only slightly bigger than me and seem to be less confident and keep a bit of distance. I contemplate kicking the big one in the balls as hard as I can or trying to gouge his eyes and making a run for it but decide I’ll wait and see what he does first. As he comes forward his body language is telling me that he’s trying to scare me, so I smile clench my fists and walk towards him; this actually confuses him for a second and he pauses and looks me up and down like he can’t believe that someone my size would stand up to him. This is something I learned from how male lions act in the wild: size doesn’t win battles, confidence does.
I stop in front of the big guy just outside of striking distance. He looks at me for a second then comes close and shoves me. He’s testing me, trying to decide if he can beat me. The other two remain at a distance.
Cajun: He-he are you drunk?
Big guy: Give us your fucking money.
Cajun: (dead calm) I don’t have any, atm card isn’t working.
Big guy: Give me your money or we’ll fucking kill you.
A bunch of things race through my head at this point. I decide that I can either fight them or make a run for it. If I run ill have to go back the way I came and since I’m drunk (students bought me a bunch of shots at end of the night) I figure they might catch me on the stairs and I could end up pretty hurt. If I fight I figure that I could probably hurt the big one bad enough to scare the other 2 away, or maybe take all 3 if I got lucky, but that’s a big if. I’m a pretty small guy, 5’7 and about 155lbs but I haven’t met anyone who is quicker or hits harder than me. I also come from a family of fighters, military elite if you go far enough, one of my ancestors being Napoleon’s best friend from Military school and his #1 general during his campaigns across Europe, he fought on the front lines with the troops as did all the other ancestors in my line and it’s been said in France that there is more blood on my name than any other in history. Fighting is literally in my blood and it gives me a shit load of confidence, something that any fighter will tell you can be the deciding factor in any fight. I figure that if I can hurt these guys bad enough then even if I lose in the end, they will second guess every other person they decide to rob from this point on. That could save lives. This seems like a stupid move but they didn’t seem to have any weapons, otherwise I felt they would show them in order to convince me to hand over my wallet.
I find it amusing that 2 days earlier the movie 300 was playing at the hostel I was staying at. As scenes rushed through my head I realized, like the Spartans, that sometimes you have to fight a hopeless battle simply to show that you’re willing to. I decide to fight.
Most men never get in a serious fight in their life. When I say serious I mean a fight for your life. I’ve had the occasional fight with people from school and plenty of bar-fights, but I’ve never fought someone with the intention of killing them. In fact I’ve always been scared of killing someone when fighting and usually withhold myself even in unfair fights, this may sound ridiculous but where I’m from fights are common and accidentally killing someone in a bar-fight can land you in prison for life, even if they started it. It’s hard to describe then, the feeling that takes over when you give yourself the freedom to fight for blood in a life or death situation. Maybe it’s this dormant animalistic trait that only gets activated in these situations, but I literally felt like I had no control over my actions once I decided to fight.
I started to speak to the big guy hoping I could catch him off guard by attacking him in mid sentence.
Cajun: Here, take my wallet.
Big guy comes closer.
Cajun: There’s a couple hundred…
I leap forward in mid sentence and punch the big guy in the throat as hard as I can. I can feel cracking and cartilage being crushed under my fist and assume I hit him in the nose and broke it. I pull back and he looks like he just got shot and falls down on his knees and makes a noise like a dog coughing. He clutches his throat and releases high pitched gasping whelps.
I broke his throat.
I laugh.
The other two look at each other with panic and come forward to help their friend. I glare at them and laugh maniacally in the craziest way I can. The bravest one swears and runs at me with his fist cocked, without thinking I position myself with my back against the wall of the building. As he swings at my face I step to the side and grab his arm. Using his own momentum to push him towards the wall, I grab the back of his head and smash his face into the brick wall as hard as I can. I can feel his face cave in and blood sprays out as he exhales through a mess of smashed teeth, broken nose and split lips. He drops limp leaving a smear of blood and cartilage on the bricks. I quickly turn around and look for the third, but can’t find him. The big guy is getting up so I walk over and contemplate kicking him in the face and stomping on his throat so hard it decapitates him, I remember this making me laugh. This is actually one of the last things I remember as I get hit HARD in the back of the head by something very heavy. I remember the world seeming to shift and the ground come up to hit me in the face. I black out.
I wake up and I can see my own reflection. I look bloodied and beat up and think I’m dreaming. I don’t know who I am, or where or what I’m doing. I quickly realize I’m awake and in a pizza restaurant and I’m looking in a mirror. There’s two nice people talking to me.
Girl: Oh my god, should we call the cops?
*I check my pants for my wallet.*
Cajun: Shit I think I was robbed.
Guy: Yeah you said that, should we call the cops? You look really hurt.
Cajun: Uhh fuck, I don’t really know what happened.
Girl: Here sit down, have some water, tell us what happened.
Cajun: How did I get here? Where am I? I remember getting attacked.
Girl: You walked in here 30 seconds ago with your eyes closed and were talking in the 3rd person, we thought you were a zombie! You said you were attacked and robbed and needed help.
Cajun: Fuck, I don’t even know who I am, this is scary, like a movie. They must have hit my head hard.
*I feel my head and its covered in huge bumps, I panic a little thinking that the guys fucked my head up forever.*
*The two nice people look concerned.*
Cajun: Hmm wait, I remember I work for a company called lovesystems!
Girl: Here use the computer!
I go on the computer and go to the lovesystems website, where I sign up for the upcoming bootcamp in Melbourne and learn how to attract women like the masters. Two weeks later and I’m pulling more tail than I ever have in my life, thanks lovesystems!
The End.
Just kidding. I actually looked at the bios and recognized my name as Cajun, I read my profile and was amused at what I read.
Cajun: Ha ha this is who I am? I’m ridiculous! Pretty awesome though.
I’m not even joking about this, this was a really weird feeling, like I fell into an alternate dimension when I had a really weird job and lifestyle. It’s like my soul was impressed with the body that it got to inhabit. Very weird. Even weirder is that as soon as I realized who I was all my memory came back.
Cajun: Ahhh I remember who I am now, yeah I’m staying in the Vulcan hotel in Ultimo!
Guy: Oh that’s right around the corner! Come on we’ll take you there.
So I get back to the hotel and this is where Chris’s account of the story comes into play. Chris and Steve (Keychain) get me a cab to the hospital and the doctor tells me they fractured my eye socket and I will need plastic surgery and titanium plates implanted into my head. I file a police report and tell the police to check hospitals for two guys coming in with a broken nose/face and throat. They don’t find anything, although they did tell me that there were thirty assaults reported that night so I don’t think they give any one much manpower, especially mine since they assumed I simply got punched in the eye and lost my wallet with nothing valuable in it.
I gotta give props to Keychain, he stayed with me at the hospital all night and is one of the nicest guys I’ve ever met. Chris is one of my best friends but since there was a seminar the next day to teach, one of us had to be there, so I made Chris go back to the hotel to sleep so he could teach since I knew I wouldn’t make it in my condition.
So I got my operation 2 weeks later, after travelling the east coast of Australia exploring the beaches, getting into adventures and surfing, but that’s another story. I just finished my operation and can now say I am MORE MACHINE THAN MAN since I now have a titanium plate in my skull.
The question I keep asking myself now is: Did I do the right thing?
The more I ask myself the more I realize that if I DIDN’T do what I did I would forever wonder what would have happened if I did. I pride myself on always standing up for myself, even when it may seem idiotic or suicidal, I still do it because I have faith in my ability to overcome. I realize that one day I will find a challenge I can’t overcome and my arrogance will reward me with pain and suffering, maybe this was one of those times, but at the end of the day I still have to live with myself, and I define who I am by the choices I make, not the pain or the suffering that they bring.
Sometimes its better to learn things the hard way.
What do you think?
wow, I’m glad you are alright bro and I’m digging the eye patch.
Your take on loosing control in a fight is something I fear myself and it makes me question that true barbarian behavior we have as men. The chance that we could loose ourselves in a fight over mere rage and adrenalin is a very possible reality.
Cheers to you for pushing yourself to experience the rawness of life, very well written too.
[...] aren’t nearly as important as the way you react to those things that happen to you. So when Derek (Cajun) got his face smashed up by thugs in Sydney earlier this month, we both made a conscious decision to make sure this [...]
Do a workshop in phoenix! If not I may have to go back to Càndà
“I define who I am by the choices I make, not the pain or the suffering that they bring.”
wow, beautiful
as a history buff I gotta ask…
which of Napoleon’s marshals are you related to?
From the history books:
1805: Invasion of Bavaria by Austria: the prince allies himself with France. Napoleon who had earlier relationships with the Comeau family and particularly with Sebastien-Joseph who was an officer of the same rank. Napoleon asks him to be “Ambassador to Bavaria for the Great Etat-Major”
Cajun I’m fuckin stoked to hear how you handled that situation. Really it cost you by getting your ass whooped but as least you went for it regardless of the circumstances you took it on with full confidence.. Not very surprising to hear considering your line of work! Haha take care
Yo Derick,
I’ve been in alot of soccerriots in my country and you are absolutely right man. The craziest motherfckr always gets on top of the fight, no mather the size. Only the next time you shouldn’t hold back, give him a front kick right in his face ask questions later. I’ve learnd that in the dutch airforce and I still aply it when someone is threathning to kill me. I hope your recovery goes well. Take care man.
And what’s that laughing about man ? Don’t get me wrong I had to laugh about it since I now you survived and I understand the psychology behind what you’re saying but that sort of things can get you killed, never loose your sence with your surroundings. Take it from an ex-soldier.
by the way, I’m recovering from a broken ancle, I know your pain with the fckng operations. They had to put iron bars and shit in my leg and I have to walk on crutches all the time and guess what, I’m atracting more girls than ever before, thank you and thank you chris for your excellent teachings. You guys rock.
hey cajun,
i fractured my frontal sinus and have titanium mesh inserted in my head too LOL. Was a nasty injury from a crash while mountain biking. Recover soon and take care.
God that sounds hauntingly like my experience minus the getting robbed and titanium plate. I’m much less violent now than I used to be and never fight like I used to. If I can not fight, I will. But if you’re pushed into a corner, you’ve got to do whatever you can to survive.
Cajun, Im Aussie, its quite a normal story there…almost worse than England, but your biggest mistake was actually the drinking- it inhibits the pineal gland that controls your intuition and higher self that was trying to guide you safely through life.
Nice interview about quantum theory btw.
take care buddy
thank god you are fine!
i’m actually a short guy too, im about 5’5 like Mr. M xD, but i had several fights, and yeah, i lost a few of them. But your survival is the most important thing, you have to believe in you and fight for your life ! maybe is a animal thing, but its in our primal instincts, like attraction . don’t you thin that Cajun ?
cheers
Yo Derek… How’s your rec0very? I w0n’t say: “fight ’til death” but… you kn0w, this kind of fight is VERRRY danger0us… Think of NEW S0LUTIONS to use when/if that happens next time. Peace.
Hey Cajun,
Truly gripping post. I grew up in Johannesburg,South Africa, which was incredibly violent and now live in Toronto, which is incredibly peaceful and much prefer the latter. When I was fourteen I was punched unconscious. I caught a bus home and still do not to this day remember doing it, so I know exactly what it feels like to not know who you are, to be a walking “zombie” as you gradually do come back to yourself. . . I wish you all the best in your recovery. The funny thing is, when I was ko’d, I made the same mistake as you seem to have. Stopping. I learned that if you go for it you have to go all the way. When you hit that scumbag’s throat and he went down you should have either ran or put kicks in and kept on going like a maniac until all threats were eliminated. Easier said than done, I know. What has bothered me over the years is that since losing that fight I’ve had a fear of lasting mental problems as studies do link serious concussion with depression, lack of concentration, etc. My advice is take time and get help to deal with this trauma, talk to a counselor if necessary. It is very important that after a serious concussion, you rest your brain for a long period, ie. no studies or tiring mental work of any kind, give the brain maximum chance to recover. A single brutal event like that can change your life, do all yo can to make sure it’s for the positive and good luck . . . Anyway if you ever want to have a beer and mul over some war stories in TO, drop me a line.
Peace and all the best . . .
That’s a great story to tell the chicks! If I were you, I wouldn’t walk by myself in a foreign country without some kinda protection like a switchblade or a kubotan.
lol, how is it that, at the top of your blog…your eye patch is covering your right eye…and on the picture at the end of your story its covering your left eye?
…you know this almost sounded as if it was a dhv being told to a girl youd pick up haha..i enjoyed it though, you rock man
Magic.. I’m guessing the picture at the top was before he had his surgery and was just a costume he was wearing.
Thank god you are ok Cajun, be careful with what you do m8 they could’ve killed you and we would’ve lost a great PUM :X
I was reading one of your old posts on the attraction forums and I thought it was very ironic you basically posted a VERY similar situation when trying to explain the use of restraint in body language
“You are walking home from the bar one night alone. Up ahead you see a group of 2 rough looking guys who seem to be out to cause trouble. You walk by and they begin verbally assaulting you, you keep walking until they say “Hey you fucking fagot! Look at me when I talk to you!”
What happens?
The coward will run away.
The confident man will match their aggression with his own, and hope that his hand is stronger.
The ideal man, that is, the man who has complete control, will do neither. The ideal man will simply turn around and give the 2 men a look. That look, in all its simplicity, will communicate so much more than any words could possibly achieve. Understand that when men show aggression it’s always reaction seeking. They want a reaction because they need to gauge your limit, they want to read your hand. If you ever watch 2 male lions fighting you will notice something similar”
Funny that post was April 2006 and you where assaulted April 2009.
Its seems like you didn’t follow your own advice there….I mean you chose the confident man approach over the ideal man which actually puzzled me a bit when I finished reading your account of what happened.
You wrote “The more I ask myself the more I realize that if I DIDN’T do what I did I would forever wonder what would have happened if I did.” At the same time I would ask myself “I would forever wonder what would have happened if I didn’t”….as in what would happened if I chose an ideal man approach by actually whipping out your empty wallet confidently and saying “GUYS! I don’t have money” And give them a look as if they are completely idiotic to try and beat up and rob a guy with no money.
But nonetheless life is full of experiences that we learn from…..so you got a crazy story out of it and its great you at least gave them some pain back.
Peace
I agree it’s better to live and learn because what doesn’t kill you will only make you stronger. And on the bright side you had a hell of a story to tell.
i hv been following ur blog for quite sometime now …..n there is so much to learn from this post as well.
decesion about fight or flight is taken in a split second n no logic can explain that.
but i can just imagine ur confidence…..risking ur life when u dont hv anythin valuable is just amazing
as u hv said u hv learned the hard way…n learning is important
I’ve sent you an e-mail about this as it was a bit long for a comment or facebook wall post.
I am surprised, everybody is so positive about the way you dealt with this. You risked your life for what? Wallet was pretty much empty. One of the guys could easily have had a knife or they could have beaten you up way worse than they actually did.
Just drop your ego and give them the wallet.
When you don’t fight back you lose every single time. In my opinion you made three mistakes:
1)after dispatching #2, you should have hauled ass instead of laughing
2) You focused back on #1 instead of where the hell #3 went.
3) Poor planning on the cash flow. I look for an ATM when I’m down to my cab fare money left, not when I’ve spent it all.
This reminds me of an email received about a hold up on Canal St. in NOLA. The guy left a bachelor party on Bourbon at 2am drunk and a mugger held him at gunpoint out of camera range from the ATM and made him withdraw it all.
You have balls man, and apparently a very small brain to do such a thing… Trust me, you cannot defeat a knife in the hands of 3 ppl, and Im not even talking about guns. Would be very silly to die for an empty wallet, don’t you agree?
“Why do I always find myself in the most fucked up situations?” – You probably have some subconscious stuff operating that makes you want to prove yourself. Spend some quiet time reflecting on why you keep attracting these things to you.
By the way, I’m very glad you’re ok! I also always enjoy reading your stuff and watching your vids. Thanks for those!
With very few exceptions, you never back down when a fight is inevitable. However, this was one of those exceptions.
It’s not so much that there were three of them, but often times these people will be high on drugs, so killing you won’t seem like a big deal to them.
It isn’t worth getting shot, stabbed, killed, etc. Resisting armed thuggery is not a measure of anything but insanity.
What if that third guy broke your spine and put you in a wheelchair for the rest of your life? Not very alpha, is it?
This isn’t a fight to defend your honor, no one is challenging you as a man. These are just lowly criminals after a random person’s money. Give it to them.
I’ve been a lot of trouble all my life, just because of what I’m doing. Sometimes at bar’s, streets and sometimes death defying situations but I’m really proud someone like Cajun share it. Inspiring story man. I love it!
Hey man I think what you did showed courage. Prolly shoulda just kept going. Go Batman on them for sure. You were on wilderness rules then. Survive.
That patch looks pretty bad ass. I have gotten in a few scuffles myself that could have ended badly and you’re right when you don’t give a fuck it freaks out even bigger guys. Can you see out of that eye at all now?
By the way you look like Robert Downey Jr. in that picture. So…can you see out of that eye?
Miley really got her singing talent from Billy Ray Cyrus, no doubt about it.~`”
our wall decors are always colored white, coz white is our favorite color and it looks good too’;.