The other day I was talking to Nick Savoy about the art of teaching guys how to get women. Not about the basics, the stuff we’ve covered a million times. The conversation was about what kind of guys who succeed very quickly and what makes them different from the guys who take a bit more time. Savoy had some interesting thoughts I wanted to share, so I asked if he’d mind putting some thoughts together in this guest post.
Nick Savoy on giving yourself the best chance to succeed
Hey, Savoy here. Thanks Cajun for suggesting this. I’ve been teaching guys how to get good with women for almost ten years now. I’ve seen guys who figure it out very quickly, I’ve seen guys who struggled a bit at first, and I’ve seen a few who were on the point of giving up before they finally broke through and got the success and confidence with women that they deserve.
(We don’t give up on anyone at Love Systems, or let anyone give up on themselves. Our policy is “no man left behind”).
The biggest difference is knowing yourself and knowing your goals. I don’t just mean with women; I mean in general. Love Systems isn’t about pretending to be someone else; it’s about being your best self. It’s about making the most of your natural advantages. Everyone has natural advantages – if you don’t think you do, all that means is you don’t know what yours are yet or how to use them to attract women. And it’s about developing that side of you that beautiful women would find fascinating – if they only knew it was there and you could show it to them.
You can see this at the very beginning of any Love Systems program, when we talk to each guy individually about who he is and what his goals are. I was observing a bootcamp recently when I overheard one of the participants tell an instructor: “I’m 32, I’m an insurance broker but my biggest hobby is sailing. Right now I want to be able to play the field and have dates and friends with benefits with much hotter women, but I also want to keep my eyes open for my perfect soulmate if she comes along, and I’m here to make sure I know what to do if she does.” He was standing behind me, so I couldn’t see him and I didn’t know anything more about him than that. But I knew he was going to be just fine. If I’d turned around and joined the conversation and asked him what exactly he was looking for in a soulmate, I’m sure he’d know and be able to tell me. He might be ugly, poor, have horrible habits and body language and so on, but it wouldn’t have mattered. When you know yourself and your (reasonable) goals, then it’s just a tactical problem of how to get there. That’s the easy part.
To paraphrase Stephen Covey – “If you don’t know where you’re trying to go … or what it will look like when you get there …. then your odds of success will be very small”. Or, in a Love Systems context – I’ll get you to the top of the mountain…that’s my job and my guarantee. But I need you to tell me what mountain you want to climb. I can’t pick the mountain for you.
If you have work to do in this area, then put down your copy of the Magic Bullets Handbook for a minute and grab a notepad and go for a walk. What do you want your life to be like in 1 year? In 5 years? In 10 years? How does your dating and sex life fit into that? Will you need to improve your dating and pickup skills? In what areas? How do you plan to take care of that? Make a plan – and stick to it. Just asking yourself those questions – and answering them – will set you way ahead of the competition.